Hey yall,

I know it has been a really long time since Ive updated and i dont think anyone gets on this anymore or reads it but if ya want to know alittle about whats going on,,,, i tell ya. Lets see...I have beeen working ang going to school and sleep and going home. Then long story short a writer for the Montgomery Advertiser came to the school and interviewed some of us and took pictures , only after talking to us at church. Well I taught at FCS the next morning and with everything going on I havent made it on time to go to Sonrise And I didnt go to the leadership meeting because i knew one thing we talk about is...."What is God showing you, or what is going on in life" but im sorry i didnt want to talk to anyone because no one understands. yeah that explains how i feel right now. I am trying to find a job as a Pharmacy Tech, because i am going to quit Steak n Shake soon. And  I think i have secluded myself from my friends and God all because of the stuff to do with my so -called "family". Well before i explain all of that i wanted to tell you that my car got wrapped and t.p.ed and yeah messed up but i got lucky cuz no one was home for them to do it to my room. Ha ha! Well its only begun. Anywayz while our Youth Leaders were out doing all this....we were at the Youth Explosion. When we got there i got put on the end of the row by Paris' Boyfriend and I felt uncomfortable because all of the othres were together. Well sooner or later Amber was like you wanna go sit by Briannna and i was like anywhere but back here by myself. So we went and I worshipped and "helped him preach" like no one was watching. Talking about Liberty!....and OMG the preacher that preached the last night at Youth Congress preached Fiday night. IT WAS AWSOME! He was hilarious tooo! But he knows teenagers cuz he knew how long of a attention span we had and how to explain thing like he did. I got so much out of the message. And then we went to the front at the end of his message and at first i was just going to pray and watch the others worship but then i saw my friend Kayla praying and so me and Amber like joined togeter and i dont know what when on after that but i remember something that was broungt up earluier that day at clinicals wher one of the eye doctors were laughing about being a luger and she said looter by mistake and then i didnt understand what that meant but moma sort of explained it as someone who solicitates or hangs around. Well Bro Francis said he wondered if we could be looters or something and while everyoneone else rushes out to go eat if there was anyone who would stay. Well God showed me that i didnt need to worry about being fifnished praying at a certain time but worship till i cant stop, or be a "Apostolicaholic". Then they played that song..."And i just cant stop, praising His name".over abnd over again..and then I was reminded of being in the Montgomery newspaper where everyone in that area has  seen it and i thought God deserves all of the glory. So i couldnt stop jumpin cuz we tend to put so much effort into stuff when God only gets some until we are tired. So i kept on till it was over. yeah my mouth was dry and i had sweat running down my face and covering my clothes, and i got a cramp in my leg. But i never have that liberty to give God everything at anything else in my life. Then they played that song, Open the floodgates of Heaven and God kept reminding me of all othe blessings that hes done that i had never realized until that time and thre i was drenched in sweat just  like all that he has covered my life with. I didnt want to leave that place cuz i felt i had everything given to me to practically fight everything going on at home and in my family and church......well till Saturday when we had to go to Selma cuz of something and in my car for a very stupid reason and Moma wanted to argue about everything and then sit back and make me look like a fool and laugh in front of my family and kept putting me down!. Then i was talkin to Pastor about something Sunday after church and she called and when i got home she strted in on me about going to get her a coke down the road when she could go get it cuz shes the one who dodesnt come to church at least i can get off of my butt to go somewhere. Well then David wakes up and OMG she started telling me and him how worthless and @#$% we were and are failures and wont get anywhere in life, for about half an hour ....she just kept going back and forth with david....and i didnt know what to do but leave the room . I was so angry and i had had enough from the day before well they get in a really big argument and i went to my room thinking should i pack up and leave or stay and comtinue taking this from her.I feel like her punching bag but just with things she says. I mean when she told me that and i went to my room ...i didnt want to pray or read my bible or go back to church and the devil kept putting thought s in my head about how i  am a failure. Eveything i do is wrong and not good enough for her or God. At those times youd think i can call someone to help me through it, but i have a mother that monitors my calls ....and i didnt want to pray. So yeah the anger grew nad grew and grew then Kerry called me about something and i didnt want to tell her anything so i just got ready for choir and hoped i could have a breakthrough. I felt no one is around when i needed them. and even during the service the devil kept hitting me with the same thoughts as before and so i was gonna leave but i stuck around and then Pastor called me up after i kept refusing. I thought a powerful service like friday was a waste so what was the point of going up for prayer! I went and he started talking about how everyone needed to evxamine theirselves because they have family in the church that is there for them, but that i fight things and have no one to go to at home.  I didnt want to be up there and so nothing happened and i went home agry like i came! Then i got sick in the middle of the night and kept vomiting and i checked into school and had to leave in the same block. then i couldnt get another 0 for not going to clinicals so i went and i got lucky cuz Mrs Cook was leaving when i was going in and i explained why i was late getting there and she guessed something was wrong and told me to call her when something is up. Well not knowing what all is going on , she told me to "hang in there". I am so sick of hearing that! No one understands what i go through when i am at home and to hang in there is pulling me from God cuz it makes me agrier to the point where i hate everything about being here. We are both counting down till the time i graduate but my god how much worse is she goingt to get before something happens to me. I thought Kaylee leaving home early would open her eyes but no its gonna take more,. I am at the point where i will leave everything and just take my car and never come back! Where is my dad when you need him or my grandmother or friends. No one can help. Yeah God can, but i dont deserve it! Rhonda was telling me a while back about a book she has that is an allegory and one part of it. there is a flower in a grazen and rocky and dark place where it doesnt belong and something asks it its name and it says Contentment and Joy. I have been thinking about that ever since she told me and have wanted to read the book. That is the only reaon why i still am here and i feel that all this is shaping me for something later in life. I wouldnt be like i am if it wasnt for all of my valleys. But this seems like im in a ditch and i feel like i am at my lowest. I have lost every hope of ambition and armor that i got from Friday night. As far as school, yeah i dont care anymore. Like right now i need to be studying for my Mid-term. So i better go. Anywayz.... i apologize if i have seemed rude or hateful to you, because i am not mad at you . its just me. Oh and  I wont be at prayer like i said i was cuz i need to go to work. I cant work from one day to the next week. Again ......i m sorry. And ill see yall at the blitz hopefully.

Love yall, Ashley

Hey Yall!!!!  

        Wow I found time to update...anywayz, I wanted ta let yall know that this whole puppet and music and other stuff is gonna turn out great! Dont stress out over it. I am gonna let ya know that there will be mistakes ( hopefully not like when i had the puppets mouth open, lol!) but we have days left to prepare. By the way, way back when i was really younger, i went to a "Church of God" church in Selma and during Sunday School we watched puppets do skits and sing and stuff and also at their church camp there was some man that came and gee-whiz, lol, i remembered tonight. But the point is....is that i "remembered" and i may not remember what it was about but i used to think clowns and puppets were weird! but when i saw them used in church and at camp geared toward us in the sense of minitering and not entertainment.....it may seem strange but all that added up along with everything else that led into changing my life and focusing on Him, because that was where i first heard about this man JESUS...even at Jacob's age or younger. So i know that someone will be impacted in someway if not now.. then later in life they will.

Well Well Well! Merry late Christmas!

     Yeah I got "in the Spirit of Christmas" late this year. I keep catching myself singing christmas songs. lol. Well it was alright this year. i guess i could tell ya bout it. Let's see I didnt get to see Daddy for Christmas this year cuz obviously hes still gone. And I got some bad news from my sister about herself that just really disappointed me. I thought she wouldve made her life worth it but shes letting it go down the drain. Now the only thing that will help her is prayer and a miracle in her life! But we went to Selma, anywayz, Christmas Eve to see David's parents and dropped in at my grandmother's house, before we came home, and Kayleee was there. We were starving and it was late and we went everywhere there is to eat in Selma but McDonalds was the ONLY place open and their drive through was out to the main highway! So yeah then we get to Prattville and it was the same deal except Waffle House. Then Sunday morning we woke up early to open presents and oh lord! the whole family was fighting especially moma and david and Moma wouldnt get up over something STUPID! so david told her that me and jacob was going to open our presents w/o her,,,,and we did! I got a new cell phone and gift certificate for clothes and shower robe and thats about it from them...and i got a very cute blanket form Mike and Deb that she made. it has tassels or whatever around it and has smiley faces all over it. lol Well I knew i had to praise sing Sunday morning but me and David did all the cooking for Christmas considering Moma want going to get up and for the first time ever-- our family on Momas side came over to eat usually we go to Selma! Different and DePreSSing day. Then i get to church late cuz of trying to finish the cake and I was really late! I stood in the hall talking to Amy forever untill Betti Watson finished talking and singing then we made it there for prayer requests, and Deb and Paula's sign language then we left. Whenever i got home Moma came out and everyone finally made it over here and we cooked and ate and talked and whatever! Then they left. Well Kaylee spent the night on account of her making me mad so i didnt take her back to Selma. Then woke up yesterday and me and Mike painted Sis Beverly's room and i went home. Today I finnally got to go to the doctor because of the problems with my blood sugar. Long wait and he asked alot of questions and he tested my blood and I think it was fine which it usually is during the day when im not having those spells. But he said i needed to fast until after i come in to get tested again tomorrow so they can see how it bottems out. Please pray that i make it. I get so sick and weak and tired and dizzy at times ,and i dont know what to expect tomorrow to be like cuz i know Moma isnt going to get up early, and i want to get it over with asap so i can find out whats going on. He asked me if i have been stressed or depressed. But anywayz, like i have said before said i guess the devil knows my mind is the weakest thing about me and hes taking advantage of it. Anywayz, I found a Bible verse tonight that ill post in a second , from a book that my grandmother gave me for Christmas thats called His Princess: Love Letters from Your King:

"For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory."                                                      Dueteronomy 20:4

          "Every day can be a fight for something or with someone if you choose. I want you, My princess warrior to choose your battles wisely, and fight for the things that are worth fighting for. There are so many things that stand against you in the battlefield, and there are so many worthy causes. But the enemy of your soul will entice you to fight the wrong battles in order to distact you from your mnain mission. Remember, My beloved, your fight is not against flesh and blood, but against evil forces in the spiritual realm. When you find yourself in the mist of a war, do not be afraid. Call on me in prayer and allow Me to deliver you. In my timing, I will give you the victory and bring justice to the afflicted. So dont waste your time fighting the wrong battles. And never forget that the spiritual war is fought--and won-- on your knees.                                 Love, You Warrior King

So thats what i found. Well yeah thats what i needed to hear or read. But its almost the same thing as tha verse aunt Rhonda gave me. Anywayz, i am going to just pick my battles and leave them to Him but also i seriously need to find time to pray and do it and get on my knees and pray. Well i am going to go. Thats whats been going on. ttyl. Love you all! Bye

SSS

Hey Yall!

   It's me ashley again, the one that is so not in the Christmas mood this year! Its next Sunady and I dont have presents for anyone yet, and when I hear Christmas music it actually gets on my nerves. Maybe I will get tha Spirit of Christmas before its over. ??? Anywayz, the Christmas tree FINALLY got put up last night. For the first time in my life the tradition was broke. I aslwayz helped put it together! Noooo, David and Jacob did it! Ughhh, I got sick last night at Mike and Debbie's cuz my Blood sugar got too low too quick and i felt so bad and no matter what  i ate or drank it wouldnt level out. Then this morning i almost stayed home cuz it was still low and i was afraid i might pass out. But i prayed and I made my self go cuz i knew i coulndnt let anyone down. And later on i started feeling better! Tyler and Brandon and Nate Kennedy and Josh Malish are ALL Home! YEAH! lol. I miss them. Actually if i were them i probally wouldnt come back but hey thats them! lol Oh yeah and guess ewhat else? ....My internet is finally hooked up! I wish it was a few weeks ago when i had that big research project! But I learned alot from all that craziness! Long story short it started when I found out about tha report before Thanksgiving holidays and I didnt have time to work on it cuz I worked with Bro. Ricky that week then i put it off. Well then i remebered tha parade that next weekend of my birthday PLUS we were moving into a new place and had to be finished and tha report and stuff was due Monday!!! OMG! It was crazy!!! I was sort of out of it all weekend and Sunday night at church I had a wall up and didnt know what to do bout anything at all! Sometime that night Sis. Rhonda and Debbie came over and talked to me and Rhonda knew something was wrong but didnt know what it was about. Anywayz, long story short...she gave me a Bible verse...(II Corinthians 10:4&5). I thought ok...i knew this verse but in a different context. What she explained is  that "Casting down imaginations and every HIGH thing that EXALTETH itself AGAINST the KNOWLEDGE of God..." --more or less dont worry, and dont let tha devil beat me up with thoughts and worries about stuff thats happened or hasnt happened yet or any worry about how I can handle something when God is in Far MORE control than I am, but to just trust God, ..."and bringing into captivity every thought into the obedience of Christ"...saying that "I Am Not GoinG To Worry,  But God I know That YOU WILL HELP ME, IF YOu Brought me to IT ; tHEN wE cAN bOth get THROUGH IT! Well All day at school I said that verse over and over and over again and I didnt let my guard down, you dont know how much peaceful I was and I knew that i wouldnt have to worry bout tha project cuz if i trusted God and sincerely surrendered it then It would work out! Well Friday came (the last day of the grace period)...i stayed up till 6:30 in the morning working on it and i FINISHED IT!!!! poster presentation and 6 pages in all!!! Usually imm getting up at 6:00 in the morning but i was already up. Then I thought God., should I stay awake or sleep for an hour and then get up. Thats what I did, woke up and made it just in time for second block and God Blessed me with a small class so i got to present it that very last DAY it was due! THANK YOU JESUS!!! Ha! But through it all...my stubborness, frustration, anger, and worry, I ended up trusting HIM and It worked out to where my presentation was awsome cuz I got to see everyone elses and see tha good and bad things so i could do my good and it was GREAT!!! "Queen of the Universe" Loved It! lol Back to my story,...that verse was on my heart all week and I taught it at the nursing home and at Sonrise at school for a devotional. That way I wouldnt just hold on to what God has spoken to me but teeling others, and at school- I could teel some people got alot out of the message. In fact, I had to take something to Coach Wurtz and when I walked in his class this boy that was sitting next to him was like" thats the girl i am talking about, shes the one that was teaching about....and he asked me what verse was it and I told him and Wurtz started asking questions. Praise God! But after all this I felt like my faith was strengthened alot to where mentally and spiritually I could feel a difference like none other! I mean like God can do so much in our lives but it takes trusting Him completely for Him to stomp right in in the middle of it all and moving in miraculous wayz! Anywayz, school is out and I am done with HOSS and CAPP. OMG me and Amy hated our 2nd and 3rd blk classes and we couted down to the last days! my grades went down in them and I am praying that the other exam i took didnt bring my grade down to a C, cuz I will be soooo mad! We didnt get exempted because of the 3 days we were at Youth Congress and not at school. I look forward to being exempted, but not this year cuz they changed the exemption policy to school related field trips ONLY!!!! So yeah, I did horrible, actually this whole year I did!!! Now my GPA went down a whole lot and I have to pay for my own Mistakes! Well I have to start looking forward to college applications and apply for scholarships and i dont know where?! I wish God would look ahead in the future and draw me a picture of what i will be doing or where i need to go! I have no oplans whatsoever! and i dont want to go where i want to but what is best in His plans for my life! I feel like i am in a wandering maze or in  a rocking chair -rocking but not going anywhere! But i need to apply what i said a minute ago to this. I have to patiently let Him take over! Also, yes i like the place we live in! It is a new step in the right direction. At first it didnt seem like it. But you couldnt imagine how many things have changed! To name a few... the past is BEHIND! every thing that went on at the other place seems like it is buried! lol I anointed this place right after we got here. It is more peaceful and me and Moma have been geeting so much closer and and not further away. OMG I just called her my mother! lol j/k But I feel like for some reason that someone has been praying cuz, i dont know i just sense it! i am serious! The things that were going on ..say...2 or 3 weeks is Nothing like now. So whoever has been praying Thanks alot and PRAISE GOD! Anywayz, my room is a whole lot cleaner MIKE!!! LOL. Really we still have boxes laying around but hey i have time, just give me a break lol. Anywayz, i have grown in many spiritual wayz and I can smile! lol. But yeah that s whats hanging! I better go before I ramble anymore! I love you all!!!! BYE!!!!!!!!!!

II Corinthians 10:4&5--- "For our weapons of warfare ARE NOT carnal, but MIGHTY through GOD, to the PULLING DOWN  of Strongholds:" ....."CASTING DOWN IMAGINATIONS and EVERY HIGH THING that EXALTETH ITSELF AGAINST the knowledge of God AND bringing into captivity EVERY THOUGHT to the OBEDIENCE of CHRIST."          

SSS

Hey everyone!

Okkkk...i dont have much time so this will be a short update. Ummmm...lets see. Happy Birthday goes out to Kelli...actually it was this past weekend. But anywayz, ....school was horrible, i only have two weeks left and I cant stand my teacher Mrs. Capp. Amy has her too. Well she really embarrased me about something and made me look really stupid. Everybody was watching my reaction. I almost started crying but i just got mad! Then not long after that she said that she doesnt make people mad and if she ever did oh well cuz she sorry. Whatever ts like she strives to make us mad. She starts it 90% of the time! Like today with me! Anywayz, when the bell rang to leave amy walked in and I said "baaaaa" which if any of yall have ever heard Sis. Betty say that we are "sheeps of the slaughter"...more or less me and Amy being sheeps at that school. Yeah well she got tha signal. And then Amy just told me about how Mrs. Capp made her cry today about something. UGHHHH!!! I dont hate her but she is really ridiculous! and i really just dont like how shes like that. Pray for her??? Man she needs a Jesus! lol. Anywayz, this morning a friend of mine fro  the soccer team asked me if me and amy were related and i said no and we went to the same church, and her friend asked us if ashley Damron is like bad or in trouble. I guess considering her not going to our church and all. Well Amy said no shes just "backslidin". Well she is but whatever, Then at lunch her and her friend ssit across from me and i kept getting the sense of someone looking at me and i looked up and they were talking about me about something and one would look away and then i would. Well i looked up later and they were still doing it. I dont know if Ashley Damron said sompin or if Raven said sompin bout what we said or what???? But it made me mad and i wanted to move but i dodnt like having my back towards people so i would be even more uncomfortable. But anywayz, whatever! I just cant stand it especcially when they do it in front of me that close. Well now i have a 7 page paper and resouces due Monday and i havent really started on it yet and we are supposed to be moving this weekend so i only have a few days to finish it before tha internet gets disconnected. Moma changed her mind,,,, so i might actually be in tha parade. If i dont make it i will try to go see it at least. I wish this day would go on and pass! My 18th birthday has finally about come....but i think God answered a prayer so its not gonna really be bad after all. Anywayz, I m gonna go...I love yall. Bye.

Verse for tha day....Proverbs 16:16: "How much better is it to get wisdom than gold! and to get understanding rather to be chosen than silver!" ......Silver and Gold, I'd rather have Jesus than Silver and Gold!!! And to be called and CHOSEN!!!!

SSS